martes, 20 de octubre de 2009

Descriptive Essay (Final draft)

Cerro del Muerto: an amazing experience


T.S. At the top of “Cerro del Muerto” the view is marvelous.

Body paragraphs:

Paragraph 1.
M.I. How I arrived to the “Cerro del Muerto”
a) Transportation
b) How the road was.

Paragraph 2.
M.I. The trip of climbing on the “Cerro del Muerto”
a) How I started to climb
b) How I felt when I was climbing

Paragraph 3.
M.I. The view that I had when I arrived at the top of the hill.
a) How the sky, the air, the view were.
b) What I felt being there.

It was a splendid experience that I had had and I would like to do it again.


Cerro del Muerto: an amazing experience

Have you ever had the opportunity of being on a place with a great view? Have you experienced the climb on the “Cerro del Muerto”? If your answer is no, let me share with you my own experience of being at the top of the “Cerro del Muerto”. As you know “Cerro del Muerto” is a representative hill here in Aguascalientes. However, many people do not go to that place. They do not know that at the top of “Cerro del Muerto” there is a marvelous view.

I went to “Cerro del Muerto” one radiant day in the morning. That morning was frosty, but the sun was shining. I got in Tere`s car with three more friends. We were wearing sport cloths. We met at the university at 9 a.m. Tere drove to the hill, while she was driving, I observed the road to that place. The first thing that I noticed was that there was not too much traffic. We took Aguascalientes Avenue and then the road to Calvillo was quiet and straight. There were not too many houses near to the road. We passed a bridge that was the reference that somebody gave us as a sign that the mountain was near. The bridge was large and it crossed the road. Another sign was a restaurant that was at the edge of the road. It was a big restaurant. Tere parked and we went out of the car. I stood in front of the hill and I looked the whole mountain and I realized that climbing would not be easy.

I started to walk in order to arrive at the top of the hill. I was walking and breathing in a softly way. It was because I did not want to get tired easily. The road at the beginning was flat then, it became rocky and difficult to climb because the rocks were too big and the slope was becoming higher. I was afraid of fall down. In the middle of the road, I wanted to give up because I was getting really tired. But I saw that my friends were happy of climbing the hill. They never stopped to rest for a while. In contrast, I decided to take a rest for a moment. I sat on a rock and figured out that there almost no plants. The few plants that existed were dry. When I felt that I had rested enough time I continued climbing the mountain. I should say that it was a challenge to me because I was really tired, but I got back to my way and I was saying to myself that I could make it.

Finally, I arrived at the top of the mountain and I discovered that the view that I had of the city on the top of the hill was pleasant. I could hear the sound of the air that was like a whisper, a soft and delicate murmur. Also how the air caressed my face with a delicate touch. The clouds were like if you feel them and they were at the top of my head. They were also as cotton because they were white. The sun was not too hot, so it warmed my back so nice. The sun could be seen through the clouds. Being there I could breathe pure air, but the most amazing thing was the view of the city from the “Cerro del Muerto”. The houses looked like doll houses as their size was small from above. The road looks like a tiny path that did not have direction. Standing there I reflected that the city is really small and it is nothing compared to what the nature offers you.

Certainly, it was a splendid experience that I had had and I would like to do it again. Because when you are at the head of the hill you feel an unexplored feeling of happiness because the view at the top of the hill is the most wonderful thing that you can ever see in your whole life. Actually, on “Cerro del Muerto” you can find the most beautiful things that the nature gives us to think on that. We should take time to admire it. It does not matter that you have to make an effort to arrive until there. It is really great. Would you like to try out that experience?

2 comentarios:

  1. Hey Andre sepsiii !!!

    I like your descriptive essay; I could imagine everything because you described waht you experienced with details. Very good!

    Just check these little particulars.

    In the third paragraph you missed a word in this sentence: “I sat on a rock and figured out that there almost no plants.”

    In the fourth paragraph you could write –nicely- instead of “so nice” I think it fix better in this sentence: “The sun was not too hot, so it warmed my back so nice.”

    In the last paragraph in the first sentence I think that could be better to write – it was the most splendid – instead of what you wrote. And the word –because- is repeated.

    Well I hope these comments can help you !!

  2. Hi Andrea: My congratulations for you, I consider that your essay is very good, because the words that you used, in order to describe each thing were the appropiated, because I can imagine your trip, the road, but the something that I like most was the way how you describe the nature, the clouds and the contact of the air in your face. Do you know that I do not like me this kind of things, but your description is an invitation for living your experience.